Day 31: Trials and Joy
I recall one of the roughest times of my life was when I was processing the fact that my mom lied about who my father was, put the wrong name on my birth certificate, and exposed me to 18 years of abuse and neglect from a man I thought was my dad, only to learn he wasn’t and that everyone in my immediate family knew this and kept it from me. Joy was not my response. I was drinking regularly from a cocktail of anger, despair, wallowing, and self-righteous judgement. One day, my husband called me out on it and said, “These are dark and dangerous roads you are choosing to walk down, and I’ll walk down them with you for the rest of your life, but I’m here to tell you, this is sin you’re choosing. As long as you choose it, you will never come to a place where you lack nothing.” Just as I was about to lay into him with a “you have no idea what I’ve been through” response, the Holy Spirit quietly cleared his throat, and I heard him gently say, “He’s right.” It stopped me cold.
Read James 1:2-4
James really asks us to consider trials to be pure joy. Trials are the hard, messy, get-in-the-way, junk of life. Sure, when I look back on them, I can see the good in how trials have forged my character and my faith, and how they spared me or prepared me for things – sometimes. But to have joy when trials come, at the time that they come, seems like a tall order…let alone pure joy.
That realization took me to a place of considering that what my parents and family did was wrong, and I had to choose to forgive them. I still have to choose that sometimes. But, what my response showed me was what was already in my heart. Amy Carmichael describes our hearts as a cup filled with water. If its bitter water and the cup gets bumped, bitter water will spill out, for what else could? If its sweet water and the cup gets bumped, sweet water will spill out, for what else could? Only what is already inside the cup can spill out. When Jesus was hanging on the cross – a far harder “bump” than I’ll ever experience – what spilled out of him? What was already in his heart: “Father, forgive them.” Sweet, sweet water. This is one reason why joy should be the response to trials, no matter how hard. For what else will show us what will spill out?
Questions to Consider
What spills out of you when you get “bumped”? Do you see these bumps/ trials as an opportunity to see what is in your heart and might need the healing touch of your Lord?
Prayer
Lord, thank you for faithfully walking through all of the bumps and trials of this life with me. Thank you that you faithfully forgive me that I might know how to forgive, love me that I might know how to love, show me mercy that I might be able to show mercy, and give me grace that I might be able to give grace. Thank you that in you, I can lack nothing.
By Traci Grant, Director Academic Success and Advising